Turning life’s pages

How did it get so late so soon?
It’s night before it’s afternoon.
December is here before it’s June.
My goodness how the time has flewn.
How did it get so late so soon?
~Dr. Seuss

This weekend our oldest daughter, Pammy, will leave for college and I have to admit it’s been a more difficult and emotional process than I had thought.
Intellectually, for years, we’ve known this day would come, but somehow I found myself completely unprepared for the emotional havoc this simple step in life would have on me.
Where did the time go? When did this awkward kid in braces turn into such a beautiful young lady? Wasn’t it just yesterday I was teaching her to drive in the High School parking lot? It seems it was just moments ago that I watched her march and then make goofy faces after performing with the high school band at halftime. Golf and swim meets, Show Choir and Band concerts. How many hours have I spent waiting for her to get ready to go somewhere?
So now here we are ... and now I’m not ready.
In our hallway sits a pile of suitcases and bags packed and ready to go, a little too anxious in my view to hit the road.
We’re discussing going away parties and getting printers to work at the last minute. I keep busy and stay out of the way and think to myself what I wouldn’t give for just one more week.
I never imagined my parents went through this, but of course they must have. I was independent and anxious to be on my own. I left without fanfare, hardly a good-bye really, and drove off into my life. It must have been hard on them and I wish now I had been more thoughtful. But I was young and in a hurry and I couldn’t be bothered with sentimentality. Now I seem to be drowning in it. There are just so many memories that demand attention. Family vacations, first dates, Prom and “remember whens”.... could they really have all come and gone already?
On Saturday we will drive Pammy, (will it become Pamela now?), to college in Nebraska, unload the suitcases and bags, hook up the printer and wait uncomfortably for the inevitable moment when she steps from our lives into hers.
There will be tears of course but there will also be pride and excitement. We’ve raised a good kid, but she will navigate her own course from here. I know there will be great success and, yes, failure in her future. I know she will fall in love, experience great joy and unbearable sorrow. And as much as I wish we could smooth the path for her, and as painful as it might be for us to watch her pick her way around life’s pitfalls, it would be unfair to her.
You don’t get a practice run in life, you take it as it comes and learn to appreciate the highs and the lows. It’s sometimes difficult but it’s the trick to giving context and meaning to this journey we’re on.
The tears that fall Saturday are the result of the years of laughter and love. And there will be more to come at graduations, weddings, births and deaths. There are those that say life is a journey you must take alone. But that isn’t true. Because always and forever, like a shadow in the background, we will be there, reminding you, “Its ok, don’t be afraid. We love you."

Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid. ~Frederick Buechner