Everything I needed to know 

about politics I learned in the sixth grade

When I was in the sixth grade, Craig Comer ran for student body president. For some reason he asked me to be his campaign manager, which in the sixth grade means you help paint signs and hang them around school. It was quite an honor.

Craig was a good-looking, athletic kid who was popular with everyone. He was running against a girl who was less popular, a little nerdier and probably a lot smarter.

The big event in a sixth grade election is the day when the candidates make a brief speech before the student body outlining their platforms. It’s really the whole ball of wax, my clever signs not-withstanding.

My guy’s speech was great, he stared by “promising” a long list of obviously impossible reforms, soda pop in the water fountains, ice cream for lunch, longer recesses, that sort of thing. He ended by admitting that he couldn’t really deliver those things but he would work to be the best student body president he could be and make Fallbrook Street Elementary School the best elementary school in all of Fallbrook California.

I know the girl spoke, but for the life of me I can’t remember a word of it and in the end the popular kid, who promised nothing, won in a landslide.

Too be fair, I’m sure Craig Comer did a wonderful job as student body president, his administration was scandal free as I recall and the Fallbrook Street Elementary was pretty darn awesome during that time.

So I was thinking about all of this recently because, as you may know, there is an election going on across the country and judging by the coverage on the national news programs it must be quite entertaining. Every morning the talking heads have some new debate, comment or miss-step, of  some such to spend  hours nattering on about. But it’s almost never about issues is it?

Quick, can you tell me what specific plan ANY candidate has to “fix” the economy?

What is the specific plan for Afghanistan, or for that matter Syria? How about health care? We know what they are against – generally. And what they are for – generally. But that’s as far as we get.

Take the Iowa caucuses, which were pretty cool, and I love that the candidates visit a town the size of Atlantic. We are fortunate in that we actually get to meet these people, shake their hands and look them in the eye. But in the end do we really end up knowing anything about them, or what they really plan to do. Are their speeches really any different than the one Craig Comer made so many years ago before his sixth grade audience.

The problem is once you lay out specifics, you are committed and then subject to the commentary and criticism from an increasingly divided public and yes, media.

Solutions to political problems aren’t like math problems where if you follow the steps and use the right numbers the answer is indisputable. Political problems require solutions that are open to debate. Which is good, but debate requires thought and consideration. It seems there isn’t much room for that in our political process. Specifics get you into trouble and therefore must be avoided at all costs.

So instead we have a national media obsessed with the horse race rather than the substance of the issues. We don’t hear about the ideas discussed at a debate, we hear about the bungled sentence or the out-of-touch comment. If none of that takes root, you can always fall back on Rush Limbaugh or demand that candidate defend or refute a comment someone else has made.

Worst case scenario, you are hauled before the court of Matt Lauer for a public chastising while the talking heads from both parties line up to dazzle us with spin.

It’s all very entertaining, to some I suppose, but it doesn’t  do much to help the public make an informed choice.

Without that information, without thoughtful discussion, the public is left to making decisions based either on the national medias inane coverage or the spin of partisan hacks. It’s no wonder our nation is becoming more divided by the day. It’s just easier to support the party than to take the time to understand the issues and make an informed choice. You’re wrong , I’m right.

So I guess my sixth-grade friend was right all along. The secret to winning an election is simple, promise them nothing, look good, and try not to say anything about anything.